Relieved Pheasants Escape Unharmed After Walz Hunting Trip, Now Support Harris 

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An adage states, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.” In the case of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, it’s better to preload your gun and be thought a fool than to video yourself fumbling to load your rifle and remove all doubt. 

In a recent three-hour hunting trip that pheasants have called “a rousing success,” Walz was determined to reach out to gun owners by filming himself hiking through tall grass, sporting a $2,000 Beretta A400 shotgun. Sporting Carhartt hunting chaps and an orange vest, he looked like a confused outdoorsman who wandered off the runway of a Tractor Supply fashion show. 

Walz was celebrating the start of the hunting season as part of his official duties. The press was invited, and he attempted to connect the event to his campaign. Vice President Kamala Harris recently noted that she and Walz were gun owners, and Walz seemed determined to make a point. 

Throughout the staged event, pheasants giggled as they taunted him. They flew back towards the press, daring Walz to take a shot. Luckily for the press, Walz declined to do so. One unlucky pheasant did lose its life, but it wasn’t from any shot fired by Walz. The skilled hunting team and their unfortunate dogs did not recover the unlucky pheasant. 

During a break to switch out the hunting dogs, Walz joked about Sarge, one of the three black Labradors brought along for the trip. He said the dog was probably frustrated because no one was shooting any game.  

After the hunting venture, Walz posted a video with one of the dogs, noting the animal’s excitement. The dog was probably just relieved the embarrassment was over. 

In a separate interview, Sarge told reporters that he would prefer to take his chances in Springfield, Ohio, and secretly wished South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was his owner. 

But eagle-eyed social media users quickly noticed that Walz had no idea how to load his shiny new shotgun. His fumbles have earned him a new nickname: Governor Fudd. “They never fit quite right,” Walz explained as he struggled to load the shells and wished he hadn’t thrown away the Beretta’s owner’s manual. 

Bugs Bunny would be proud. 

Since becoming the vice presidential nominee, Walz has bragged about his hunting skills. He mocked GOP candidate JD Vance, saying, “I guarantee you he can’t shoot pheasants like I can.” But it turns out that Vance can shoot pheasants just like Walz, especially if Vance doesn’t shoot pheasants at all. 

As Minnesota’s governor, Walz has backed universal background checks, red-flag laws, and a ban on assault weapons. The NRA has heavily criticized him, calling him a “political chameleon” for changing his opinions about guns as his political career progressed.  

Walz, who used to have a high rating from the National Rifle Association during his 12 years in Congress, now supports gun-grabbing legislation. 

Harris also proudly boasts that she’s a gun owner. She says she owns a Glock and has fired it at a gun range. She also took on a tough stance during an interview, claiming that “if someone breaks into” her house, “they’re getting shot.” Ironically, she’d be put behind bars for life for defending herself if she wins in November. 

Last week, the Harris campaign started a group called “Hunters and Anglers for Harris-Walz” and has been selling camouflage hats to attract rural voters. Social media is likely eagerly awaiting footage of Walz fishing and taking bets on whether or not he can bait a hook. 

Walz has faced criticism for a past comment about gun control where he said, “We can make sure those weapons of war, which I carried in war, are only used in war.” However, he never served in a combat zone, something that, after watching the video, his squadron is probably happy about.  

Walz and Harris are determined to chip away at gun owner’s rights if they end up in the Oval Office. They will claim each gun-grabbing victory is a step towards making America a safer place. And Walz is proving his point by making Minnesota a safer place, at least for pheasants.