The 2026 midterms are shaping up to be an absolute bloodbath for Democrats in the Senate, and honestly? They deserve every bit of it. Five of their candidates are so spectacularly terrible that Republican strategists must be pinching themselves to make sure they’re not dreaming.
Seriously — it’s like the DNC held a nationwide talent search for the most unelectable humans in America and said, “Perfect. Send them all.”
Let’s run through the lineup, shall we?
## Roy Cooper — North Carolina
First up is Roy Cooper, the former governor of North Carolina who’s trying to slide into Thom Tillis’s Senate seat. Cooper spent his time in the governor’s mansion vetoing every piece of common-sense legislation the state legislature put on his desk. The Parents’ Bill of Rights? Vetoed. A ban on gender-transition surgeries for minors? Vetoed. The Fairness in Women’s Sports Act? You guessed it — vetoed.
The legislature overrode every single one of those vetoes, by the way. All three. So not only was Cooper on the wrong side of these issues, he couldn’t even win the fight in his own state.
He’s currently leading in the polls against former RNC Chairman Michael Whatley, but North Carolina has a funny habit of breaking late for Republicans. Cooper’s going to spend the next eighteen months explaining why he thought it was fine for biological men to compete against women in sports. Good luck with that in a state that went for Trump twice.
## Jon Ossoff — Georgia
Then there’s Jon Ossoff, the man who snuck into the Senate during the chaos of January 2021 when Georgia Republicans stayed home. Ossoff won his runoff by a slim margin during what was arguably the worst moment for the GOP in a decade, and he’s been voting like he represents San Francisco ever since.
Ossoff voted against the Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act in 2025. He supported the so-called “Women’s Health Protection Act” in 2022, which was really just a federal guarantee of late-term abortions dressed up in a nice name. (Democrats love doing that — naming bills the opposite of what they actually do. Very Orwellian of them.)
Georgia is a state where Trump has improved his margins in every single election. Ossoff is a borrowed-time senator, and the clock is ticking.
## Abdul El-Sayed — Michigan
Now we get to the real gems. Abdul El-Sayed is leading the Democratic primary in Michigan, and this guy is an absolute gift to the Republican Party.
Where do we even start? How about the time he told a crowd, “When they go low, we don’t go high — we choke them out.” Charming! Really bringing that unity message, huh?
El-Sayed has accused Israel of genocide, defended actual terrorists by saying they were acting from “pain and frustration” (aren’t we all, buddy), and refused to disavow radical activist Hasan Piker. He’s basically running on a platform of “Everything Wrong With the Modern Left” and wondering why moderates are sprinting in the other direction.
Mike Rogers is sitting over on the Republican side, probably sending El-Sayed a thank-you card every week. Michigan just watched what happened when they elected radical progressives — and they’re not exactly thrilled with the results.
## James Talarico — Texas
Texas! The Democrats actually think they have a shot in Texas. That’s adorable.
Their candidate is James Talarico, a state representative whose greatest hits include: introducing a bill to repeal abortion protections, publicly declaring that “God is non-binary” (we’re sure that’ll play well in the pews across the Lone Star State), calling for the dismantling of ICE, supporting men competing in women’s sports, and — this is real — claiming that there are six sexes.
Six. Not two. Six.
We checked. There are still two. But Talarico apparently has access to a biology textbook the rest of us haven’t seen.
This man wants to win a statewide election in *Texas* — a state where people own more guns than shoes and “Don’t Mess With Texas” isn’t just a slogan, it’s a lifestyle. Running on “God is non-binary and there are six sexes” in Texas is like trying to sell veggie burgers at a rodeo. You’re technically allowed to try, but nobody’s buying.
## Mary Peltola — Alaska
Finally, there’s Mary Peltola up in Alaska, who’s going after Dan Sullivan’s Senate seat. Peltola is the woman who won a 2022 special House election — the first Democrat to take that seat in fifty years — thanks largely to Alaska’s ranked-choice voting system and abysmally low turnout.
Here’s what they don’t want you to know: in a straight head-to-head matchup, Nick Begich III would have beaten her. The ranked-choice system created enough confusion to hand her a win that wouldn’t have happened under normal voting rules. Then Begich turned around and beat her fair and square in 2024. Whoops.
Now she’s trying to jump to the Senate against Sullivan, but the RCV magic trick doesn’t work as well when voters actually know what’s going on. Fool me once, Alaska.
## The Bottom Line
Five candidates. Five states. Five Democrats who are each uniquely terrible in their own special way. One vetoes everything parents want. One votes like he’s from California. One wants to “choke out” political opponents. One thinks God is non-binary. And one needed a rigged voting system just to win once.
This is the best the Democratic Party has to offer in 2026. We almost feel bad for them.
Almost.