Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic presidential nominee, participated in a live interview where she shared a proposal aimed at helping first-time homebuyers. Her plan is to use taxpayer dollars to give $25,000 in down payment assistance to people buying their first home. Why? Because apparently, not everyone is lucky enough to be born with a “silver spoon” in their mouth—thank you for that revelation, Kamala.

Harris took a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about how her mother pinched pennies and eventually managed to scrape together enough to buy a home. Of course, this was back when Harris was just a teenager, mind you, a time when saving for a house wasn’t akin to trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded. “I know where I come from,” she said, in a line that could have been lifted from any politician’s playbook. Her message? If her mother could do it, then so can you—assuming you can find a house that isn’t priced like a small island.

But don’t worry! Kamala’s here to help. After all, who wouldn’t want a little help getting their foot in the door—especially when that door leads to a lifetime of mortgage payments and endless home repairs? The $25,000 will certainly help… unless you live anywhere remotely expensive, in which case it might cover a fancy doormat.

The conversation turned to gun control because what’s a political interview without wading into that never-ending quagmire? Harris reassured everyone that she’s not coming for your guns—really, she swears! “We’re not trying to take anybody’s guns away from them,” she promised. Of course, she followed that up with a call for an assault weapons ban because who needs those pesky details about the Second Amendment, right? She’s just making sure our home defense strategy doesn’t include anything too powerful. I mean, why would anyone need an assault weapon when a baseball bats work just fine?

Harris also casually revealed that she had a chat with former President Donald Trump. Why? Well, it turns out Trump had just survived his second assassination attempt. And while most people would be rattled by the thought of dodging bullets, apparently, Trump’s just treating it like an annoying fact of life.

But let’s get back to Harris and her claim of being “the future of leadership.” She claims she’s here to represent a “new generation of leadership,” or whatever that means. You know, fresh, innovative, and totally different from everyone else running—except for all the ways she’s not. According to Harris, unlike a certain someone (*cough* Trump *cough*), she won’t be out there trying to “incite fear.” Instead, she’s all about hope, unity, and probably a few other buzzwords we’ve all heard before.

Then came the inevitable moment when Harris was asked that age-old question: “Are we better off than we were four years ago?” If you were expecting a confident, resounding “yes,” think again. Harris admitted, with a sigh of realism, that inflation is still a major problem.  “Is the price of groceries still too high? Yes. Do we have more work to do? Yes,” she admitted. In other words, things are still a bit of a mess, but don’t worry; she’s got it covered—eventually, maybe, someday.

The interview took place in Philadelphia and was hosted by the National Association of Black Journalists. Harris emphasized her differences from other politicians, stating that we are leaving behind a dark era of fear and division. So, if you’ve been waiting for the day when everything suddenly turns sunshine and rainbows, hang tight—Kamala’s here to lead the charge into a brighter, less divisive future.

Or, at the very least, she’ll give you $25,000 to start on a house you probably can’t afford.